Dubya Declares Gay Marriage a Success!

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Good news! As a followup to my recent article on the Done Deal that is Gay Marriage, and in light of the many impassioned comments that article has engendered, I’ve learned a couple of things.

I’ve come to realize, of late, that I’ve been too hasty in overlooking the self-proclaimed accomplishments of our “President”. As you know, he and his minions have been highlighting his undeniable successes in the “War on Terror”.

The facts, they suggest, speak for themselves: There’s not been a single terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11. Not one!

Putting aside the Anthrax Attacks for the moment – as they do – I believe it’s only fair of me to acknowledge what a success Dubya has been on this count! There’s not been a single attack! His strategy is clearly working!

In light of that success, and logic, I’ve also now come to realize another thing. Gay Marriage in America is an equally undeniable success! In fact, Gay Marriage may have single-handedly brought the Sanctity back to the Institution of Marriage in this country!

The facts speak for themselves: There has not been one single Gay Married Couple in this country, since Gay Marriage began, to file for a Divorce! Not one! Ever!

Gay Marriage has a 100% success rate! Clearly, by Dubya’s own logic, this accomplishment is undebatable! It does, however, disturbingly highlight the Crisis we’re now facing in regards to Heterosexual Marriage in America, which has a Divorce Rate of more than 50%.

I’m seriously concerned that Heterosexuals are making a mockery of the Sacred Institution of Marriage, and in light of this crisis, I and am calling for an immediate Constitutional Amendment banning Heterosexual Marriage in America. This step is a necessary one if we are to preserve the Sanctity of Marriage in this country. I’m sorry to say, it’s the only thing we can do, at this time, in light of the disturbing statistics that are now ravaging many of the great cities in our land.

Please join me in this effort. May God bless you, and may God bless America.

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Dubya Declares Gay Marriage a Success!

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  1. 1)
    Paul said on 3/5/2004 @ 10:47am PT: [Permalink]

    > Heterosexuals are making a mockery of the Sacred Institution of Marriage

    Stats show that marriages end in divorce about 50% of the time. Those who live together before getting married have an 80% divorce rate. Thank you to all of those hetero’s living together that don’t get married.

    I love it that these homo’s decided to get "married ?" because of Bush’s call for an amendment, which was the final straw. Where is the "I love you partner" in that? What about the 8 years of Clinton? When liberals are out of power, they really start screaming.

  2. 2)
    Brad said on 3/5/2004 @ 4:00pm PT: [Permalink]

    "I love it that these homo’s decided to get "married ?" because of Bush’s call for an amendment"

    Uh…I believe you’ve got that backwards, genius. But hey, facts shmacks! Who needs ’em?!

    After all why should a man of God like yourself give a damn about the "homo’s" anyway.

    Pat Robertson must be proud. His work here is done.

  3. 3)
    jaime said on 3/5/2004 @ 5:25pm PT: [Permalink]

    Paul…I’m very much a straight man, but all this dirty talk about homos makes me wanna screw the hell out of you.

    Brad, don’t you know, its in the Bible. Jesus hates fags. Idiot.

  4. 4)
    Paul said on 3/6/2004 @ 8:14am PT: [Permalink]

    Rosie decided to get married after Bush announced his backing of an amendment. So, it was not backwards. Jaime, go take a cold shower – lol

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