Fox News Channel’s General Manager Roger Ailes announced at a press conference today that, as of this Friday, the all-news cable outlet’s primetime news debate program, “Hannity & Colmes”, would be officially retitled “Hannity & Christ”.
The name change comes after eight full weeks of leading each evening’s show with a discussion of the important and breaking news concerning the fact that there is a movie called “The Passion of the Christ” currently playing in movie houses, virtually, across the nation!
“It took a while for us to get our footing there.” Ailes said. “For several years we were dallying about with topics of lesser news value at the top of the show, like Americans being killed in foreign lands, or various discussion about the economy, or who might be the next leader of the Free World. Finally though – thanks in no small part to the persistent vision and nose for news of the great Sean Hannity – we’ve officially gotten our priorities straight.”
“Fox News Channel is the most trusted name in news,” Hannity told reporters. “If we are to continue to own that title, we must continue to help the average American Family cut through the daily clutter of news and information to understand what is really important to them in their every day life.”
When asked for comment on the program’s retooling today, Hannity’s far Left Socialist Liberal Bleeding-heart Pitbull Adversary, Alan Colmes, came out from under the table where Mr. Hannity was seated, pulled up his pants and informed reporters that “whatever Sean thinks, sounds great to me.”
The name change goes into effect officially tomorrow evening, “which will make it a good Friday, indeed!” announced Hannity.
In other completely wholly totally unrelated news, George W. Bush’s job approval ratings continue to fall, 2 more servicemen were killed in Iraq, an International Court has ordered a retrial for the only 9/11 figure ever to stand trial due to the U.S. having withheld evidence, anarchy continues in Haiti and the Bush/Cheney Re-election campaign trampled on 3000 dead people in their latest media buy.
> anarchy continues in Haiti
another brilliant Clinton foreign polcy.
> Bush/Cheney Re-election campaign trampled on 3000 dead people in their latest media buy
drinking the party line coolaid
"another brilliant Clinton foreign polcy."
My favorite failed foreign policy is the training and funding of the mujahadeen in the eighties.
I admired daddy Bush’s heroic taking out of ex CIA bitch Noriega.
War on drugs has been a smashing success.
I also liked the funneling of Bush family oil money by the Saudi’s to fund Al Qaeda.
I also absolutely LOVED it when Saddam Hussein used the chemical weapons he acquired through the Reagan Administration to ‘win one for the Gipper’ and gassed the shit out of those stupid A-rabs in Iran.
Also, Paul…maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually, the entire federal government controlling Republican Party is gonna have to come up with a better excuse than ‘Clinton did it’
You have to look at all of that historically. I will say it again. The enemy (Iraq) of my enemy (Iran) is my friend. Iranians are not Arabs, they are Persians. Call me for lunch sometime big boy.
Most people can’t tell Persian from Arab, Sunni from Shiite. Eventually the enemy of your enemy becomes your enemy or creates another one. Cyclical blowback isn’t healthy:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction….The chain reaction of evil–hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars–must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
-Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength To Love, 1963.
Nonviolence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man
-Mohandas Ghandi
Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
-Some guy named Jesus
> but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
That is correct! However, a smite is not a murder attempt. Each individual has a right to defend himself, his family, and his country.
What about some of these other Biblical incidents?
David killed Goliath after Goliath taunted the Israelistes for 40 days.
The Egyptian army was killed when the Red Sea closed itself.
Two people struck down dead after lying about the sale of their property.
And then there is this one, which is quit funny actually –
Judges Chapter 3
15 But when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, the LORD raised them up a deliverer, Ehud the son of Gera, a Benjamite, a man left-handed: and by him the children of Israel sent a present unto Eglon the king of Moab.
16 But Ehud made him a dagger which had two edges, of a cubit length; and he did gird it under his raiment upon his right thigh.
17 And he brought the present unto Eglon king of Moab: and Eglon was a very fat man.
18 And when he had made an end to offer the present, he sent away the people that bare the present.
19 But he himself turned again from the quarries that were by Gilgal, and said, I have a secret errand unto thee, O king: who said, Keep silence. And all that stood by him went out from him.
20 And Ehud came unto him; and he was sitting in a summer parlor, which he had for himself alone. And Ehud said, I have a message from God unto thee. And he arose out of his seat.
21 And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:
22 and the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.
23 Then Ehud went forth through the porch, and shut the doors of the parlor upon him, and locked them.
Wow, Paul. Reject Christ much?
By all reports, Saddam Hussein was an enemy of al qaeda up to the point he went into hiding last year. He might still be. So you still consider him a friend, right? Or is he your enemy now, making al qaeda your friend? Just trying to follow your logic.
Paul,
I want to apologize for my opening remark in that last post. It was kind of stupid. Lots of people reject the New Testament and the teachings of Jesus Christ in favor of what some of us call the Old Testament.
In fact, there’s at least one whole religion that does that.
Personally, my will to survive often overrules my Christian pacifist ideals. I understand the use of force for trying to eliminate threats. So I can understand going into Afghanistan to get bin Laden. But I can’t understand putting that on the back burner to oust someone who was a threat only to those within his own borders. Especially since, as bad as he was, he probably wouldn’t have killed as many Iraquis as will die in the upcoming civil wars.
And the only thing I find scarier than Iraq being in a U.S. created civil war at the same time Iran is in a homegrown civil war, is that our soldiers will be right in the thick of it.