By Brad Friedman on 7/8/2004, 11:29pm PT  

Well, we've returned from the peacefully chilly heights of camping in the mountains at 10,000 feet and gambling in the 105 degree heat of the desert. God Bless America.

No doubt I'll have more to say on the above soon. As well as on much of what I've gleefully missed over some of the past seven glorious days as I slowly return to speed. I say "slowly" because, unlike most on the other side of the political table, I enjoy actually forming my own opinions on things based on actual source material rather than simply retyping "opinions" as heard by the Political Dogma Masters at the top of the Echo Chamber Food Chain. But maybe that's just me.

So such things do take time. I'm sure BRAD BLOGGERS (some of them anyway) will understand.

This one observation however --- Days in the mountains with neither TV, Radio, Newspapers or Internet are blissful. Days in the dry desert with only quick glances at CNN and MSNBC and the occassional USA Today front page headline offer a gentle re-entrance to Modern Day America.

Flipping on FOX NEWS, however, upon returning home displays a whole new world!

For one, it's good to learn that the War in Iraq is finally over! Phew! That was scary for a while! And I didn't know that the Oil For Food "Scandal" at the UN is now by far the greatest issue rocking Americans today! Neither had I realized what an evil, incompetent, soulless, ambulance chasing, flip-flopping hypocrite that John Edwards scoundrel really is! And if I had known how close we now are to imminent war with those communist Freedom Haters in Canada and France, I might have stayed home to protect my personal property!

Fortunately though, I re-entered "America" in time to learn that my days without the media in the mountains were little more than blissful ignorance. Al-Qaeda may be striking me and my family with a "spectacular attack" at any moment!!!

While I was all set to support Anybody But Bush for President, thankfully I've been re-reminded upon my return --- oddly, as if like clockwork --- that I should be very VERY afraid of my impending Death by Terror! And not a moment too soon!!! Another day in the mountains without FOX and I might have been a goner!!!

With such an imminent and horrible attack scheduled to happen at any moment, perhaps it's best after all to vote for George W. Bush this year. At least he has kept me completely unharmed (so far!) from both the Freedom Haters and Saddam Hussein for almost three years straight! For that, he deserves our unquestioning support and unconditional thanks! I've also gotten some great bargains at the local mall during that time!

Oh, if only I could kiss him deeply on his manly full unwaivering lips and massage his strong evil fighting morally clear shoulders to show him thanks! But alas, that wouldn't be enough!

In any case, I, for one, once again realize how lucky I am to still simply be alive. Thanks to one Uniting-Not-Dividing, Honor-and-Dignity-to-the-Whitehouse-Restoring, Tone-Changing, Legitimately-Elected, Unwaivering-in-the-Face-of-Evil, Do-Gooding, Selected-by-God Leader of the Greatest Country on Earth by the name of George W. Bush! Thank you, Mr. "President"!

P.S. Got a very quick look at some of the Comments that have be posted over the past week. Good stuff! Looking forward to doing a bit of Commenting on some of those Comments myself in the coming days!

P.P.S. Congratulations to the people of Dallas! For making Fahrenheit 9/11 their number one film choice on it's opening weekend by huge numbers! The biggest Documentary in Texas history! And in only three days! And kudos to Dallasites for continuing to turn out for F9/11 the following week in equally impressive numbers! (Numbers that dropped off much less significantly even than Spider-Man 2 did in Dallas theaters over the very same days!) Perhaps everyone in Dallas isn't the backwards, backwater, deluded, bible-thumping, Fake Conservative moron that the state's most famous son (of late) and his blindly faithful and blissfully ignorant supporters would make one believe! Go Big D!