Goodbye Cruel World (For Now)

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Blogged by Brad from somewhere in Colorful Colorado…

After threatening, and trying for the last two months, to get fully “off the grid,” by jiminy, I’m gonna do it. At least for a few days. Come hell or highwater. At least until after Labor Day.

Heading up to get lost in the mountains for a few days beginning today, and so the Guest Bloggers will do as they please here (or not). Whatever happens at The BRAD BLOG, will stay at The BRAD BLOG.

Goodbye cruel world! At least until next week at some point (unless the bears get me)…

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Goodbye Cruel World (For Now)

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  1. 1)
    CharlieL said on 8/30/2007 @ 9:36am PT: [Permalink]

    So these tourists are getting a “Bear Safety Lecture” at a national park. The Camp Ranger explains that you should always carry pepper spray with you and wear bells on your clothing to scare away the bears. He goes on to explain that the black bears are pretty harmless and easily scared off and to stay away from the grizzly bears, because they are very dangerous. One of the visitors asks how to tell what kind of bears are in the area.

    The Ranger explains you can tell what kind of bears are around by the mounds of excrement they leave behind.

    “How’s that?” the guest ask.

    “Well,” explains the Ranger, “The crap from the brown bears is dark brown and quite pungent.”

    “And the Grizzly poop?” asks the visitor?

    “Grizzly bear poop smells of pepper and has bells in it.”

    Brad, have a great time in the mountains and watch out for poop with bells in it. If the neocons invade Iran this weekend, we’ll keep on top of it here.

  2. 3)
    ColoScott said on 8/30/2007 @ 10:22am PT: [Permalink]

    Brad, I grew up in Colorado. Just be sure to put all your food in air-tight bags and hang high in a tree. There are no Grizzlies in CO. Now, if you see any big cat tracks or start to get an inescapable feeling you are being watched, act as big (wave arms in air, etc) and loud as you can, don’t run but head for camp or civilization ASAP. Mountain lions are the top of the food chain where you are going.

  3. 4)
    Mozart said on 8/30/2007 @ 10:36am PT: [Permalink]

    Have a good time, Brad!

    A bear story, if you can bear with it:

    I was a teen on a CYA (Catholic Youth Association…we kids called it “Cover Your Asses”) trip to Yosemite in the late 70’s. It was an awesome time for us kids, as we hiked from the valley to the top of Half-Dome and back in one day (22 miles), swam (brrrr, the snow-swollen Merced River was always so full and dangerous, as we went on our annual trips in June while the snows in the high country were in full-melt mode), fished and dealt with bears.

    Being young and new to camping in Yosemite, I made the mistake of sleeping next to one of several big ice chests and the one that I was next to had most of the home-made macaroni salad for the group. There was a distant bathroom light that was pretty much the only source of light and this light was in a direct line-of-sight of my view past the huge ice chest.

    I woke up during the night and could not see the bathroom light, but, as I look up a bit, I could see the illuminated hair on a gigantic moving body that I immediately realized that it was a freak’n A huge brown bear. I could literally lean over and touch that bear if I wanted to, but I chose to not move. Not one bit. Not one teeny, weeny bit. I pretended to be asleep while that bear scarfed up an entire week’s worth of mac salad. I had thoughts of screaming, mak’n noise, etc, but there were a lot of other people sleeping all around and that bear had somehow snuck in amongst the kids without stepping on any toes. I figured that a scared, scrambling bear could do a lot of damage to sleeping kids, so I dared not to move. I musta held my breath for an hour or more.

    Everybody blamed me for “eating” the salad the next morning, as I was known to be a mac salad nut, until I found a big-O mac-salad-colored bear print on the corner of a sleeping bag ‘n everybody pretty much freaked out. Those were the days…

    Back to voting:

    Take a look at this url…

    http://usaelectionpolls.com/

    …and vote in a field that has all the 19 candidates, both Dems and Repubs. Look at who got over 60% of the entire freak’n vote. The results may surprise you…or not.

  4. 5)
    Agent 99 said on 8/30/2007 @ 10:49am PT: [Permalink]

    Mozart

    That would have been a black bear with a brown coat. I’m pretty sure they all have brown coats down here, and they don’t get really black until you get much further north. Since we killed all our grizzly bears back in the 1800s, we’ve only got black bears in California. They’re notorious camp raiders, even open up car trunks like pop cans to get to the goods, but will not attack humans unless cornered. They’re scavengers. Love fruit trees and berry bushes and beehives. Only meat they eat is already dead. They’re also big chickens. If you yell at them, they run like they were shot from a gun. Macaroni salad would have been beyond the beyond irresistible to a black bear.

  5. 6)
    None said on 8/30/2007 @ 10:55am PT: [Permalink]

    Brad,

    I’d be less worried about wild animals and more worried about men in black (unless by “bear” you mean a hairy not-gay republican)

  6. 7)
    Agent 99 said on 8/30/2007 @ 10:59am PT: [Permalink]

    And listen to ColoScott, Brad! Mountain lions don’t attack you if you don’t act like prey. I was maybe eight feet from one a few years ago and I said, “Oh, pretty kitty, oh, pretty kitty…” a few times, and he looked at me like I was nuts and strolled off. Another friend saw one chasing his dog, and threw a roll of foresters’ tape at it, which startled it and made it decide to leave instead of keep chasing. If you don’t do any running, you should be completely safe. They catch the movement of runners or cyclists and that means food to them. Otherwise, they aren’t interested. DON’T RUN.

  7. 8)
    KestrelBrighteyes said on 8/30/2007 @ 11:25am PT: [Permalink]

    Brad,

    Enjoy your “unplugged” time. You need this. The world can turn without you for awhile. Trust me, I’m a MOM, I know these things.

    Okay everybody, is he gone yet? Who’s got the tequilla? BODYSHOTS!

  8. 9)
    KestrelBrighteyes said on 8/30/2007 @ 11:49am PT: [Permalink]

    Hey y’all, one of THE COOLEST experiences of my life happened on Mother’s Day, 2005.

    We had taken the kid to stay a week in a cabin in the Smoky Mountains for his 13th birthday. (One advantage of homeschool – you don’t have to work around someone else’s schedule) It so happened that his birthday was the day BEFORE Mother’s Day, so I got to pick what to do for Mother’s Day. Naturally I picked an all-day hike up in the mountains past Laurel Falls.

    We were heading up the trail way past the falls (where we had the trail to ourselves) when we saw a young black bear right next to the trail, looking straight at us. First thing that popped into my mind – where’s mama? Then we realized he was at least a yearling, so no longer with mama bear, and his “fight or flight” instinct told him to run. We hiked for a couple more hours, then decided to return to the cabin before dark.

    On the way back, we saw the bear again, this time feeding at the base of a tree RIGHT BESIDE THE TRAIL. We took some pictures from a distance, then he watched us closely as we approached. Apparently he had decided the same thing about us as we decided about him – that there wasn’t a threat – so we moved silently past him in single file as he continued eating. He never took his eyes off of us. As we passed, I was a little afraid to meet his eyes, afraid he’d take it as a challenge – but I couldn’t resist looking at least once.

    Y’all, I swear, I could have reached out and TOUCHED him, we were so close! And I have never felt that kind of rush, that depth of connection. Here he was, this young black bear, eating his dinner and eyeing these humans walking past him, and there was SO MUCH INTELLIGENCE in those eyes.

    It was one of the most awesome things I’ve ever experienced.

    The next morning, after an evening of lobster tails on the grill and drinking champagne in the hot tub on the back porch, hubby went out to empty the trash. He called me to come look.

    There, in the pollen on the porch and on the side of the garbage can, were bear paw-prints.

    I know it wasn’t the same bear, but there is something very exhilarating, and very sobering, about living that close to real world – about realizing that we are not at the top of the food chain.

  9. 11)
    phil said on 8/30/2007 @ 2:15pm PT: [Permalink]

    A trip to the deep mountains always clears the mind and soul for me.

    I hope you have a great time Brad!

    CharlieL – Heh, smells like pepper with bells in it. Thank god I just cleaned my desk cause I spewed coffee when I heard that. I hear a lot of jokes like that but never that one..

  10. 12)
    Mozart said on 8/31/2007 @ 1:04am PT: [Permalink]

    Agent 99…

    My bad. Black Bear. Thanks.

    Brighteyes…great bear story.

    In the early summer of this year I was outside walking about in the 3.5-acre lot in which I live. It is completely fenced in, yet bordering open fields/forests through which wild animals can move about. I found, to my surprise, a huge bear scat that was full of berries and brought the scat to the old man, the 80-year-old landlord and asked him if he was secretly taking a shiat outside, as he had been eating big bowls of cherries of late at that time.

    His eyebrows arched up in surprise at the unusual nature of my question (I was teasing the old man, for I knew damn well that he wouldn’t sneak outside ‘n take a shiat on the lawn) and his eyebrows arched up even more when I told him that the big scat that I was holding in my hands was a big-ol Black Bear scat.

    At that time I had a lot of cherries with which I use to make cherry wine. I had a whole box of juiced cherry pulp that had the juice extracted (with a GreenPower juicer), so I put the whole thing out near where I found the scat. The very next morning the entire pile of cherry pulp was gone and there was a fresh pile of cherry-pit-filled scat. That made me smile. I love bears.

  11. 13)
    Dredd said on 8/31/2007 @ 7:28am PT: [Permalink]

    I lived amongst the big bears on Kodiak Island and elsewhere in Alaska.

    The bear ladder in our neck of the woods (N. America) goes black, grizzly, blue (glacier) brownie, polar, and Kodiak, the king of bears.

    I never had a problem with them as long as I played by their rules. Rule one is do not surprise them (grizzly, brownie, or Kodiak especially).

    Their internal software routines for handling surprizes are about as good as a Diebold EVM, and so one never knows what they will do if surprized.

    Big Dan, the larger Alaskan bears I mentioned usually have a camera and a photographer’s hat in the feces 🙂 .

    Have a zen time of it Brad!

  12. 16)
    Big Dan said on 8/31/2007 @ 10:57am PT: [Permalink]

    My labor day weekend will consist of…nothing. I love doing nothing! It’s really good for you!

  13. 17)
    Big Dan said on 8/31/2007 @ 10:59am PT: [Permalink]

    Tony Snow is QUITTING Sep. 14. What a bunch of QUITTERS! Rumsfeld QUIT, Snow QUIT, Ashcroft QUIT, Powell QUIT, Wolfowicz QUIT, WHAT A BUNCH OF QUITTERS!

  14. 18)
    Big Dan said on 8/31/2007 @ 5:00pm PT: [Permalink]

    The CMSM and “the situation room” on CNN was all over Democrat senator Johnson’s brain tumor, and conjecture of the Democrats losing a senate seat:

    “Sen. Tim Johnson’s Illness Puts Democrats’ Majority Of Senate At Risk;”

    http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRAN...itroom.01.html

    WHERE’S THE “SITUATION ROOM’S” CONJECTURE OF LARRY CRAIG (R-eacharound) losing HIS seat??? They’re covering the story, but nothing of Craig’s replacement or any ramifications of the Republicans losing a senate seat!

    Should there be a story, that takes Lieberman switching parties out of play? That’s not important for the news to talk about???

  15. 20)
    Thick-Witted Liberal said on 8/31/2007 @ 6:55pm PT: [Permalink]

    OT OT OT OT OT OT OT OT OT

    This is as close as we get to an open thread on BradBlog. I was thinking about one word to describe each of the top Dems for 2008.

    Clinton qualified
    Obama popular
    Edwards electable

    Do you agree or not? However, Kucinich gets my primary vote – correct on the issues.

  16. 27)
    Big Dan said on 9/1/2007 @ 5:36am PT: [Permalink]

    I hate Republicans and would never vote for one. There are ZERO black Republicans, and ZERO Republican progressives. The majority of Democrats are now not progressive, but they have some.

    I think the strategy is to get the Democrats in there, and then change them to the progressives. This implies that our votes count, which they don’t right now.

    I like Kucinich and Gravel, and I don’t think they have a snowball’s chance in hell because they media wants Hillary in there. Hillary has changed since she wrote that very progressive book.

    Right now? I’m voting for Kucinich or Gravel. In the final election, I’m voting for ANY Democrat that’s running against the Republican.

    The Republican party was, is, and always will be for the rich and corporations. They represent an extreme minority of people with all the $$$$$. That’s why they have to trick and misinform and disenfranchize voters. They are always several steps ahead with the disenfranchizing. Right now, they have a plan for 2008 that we don’t know about, then we’ll find out about it 7 years from now when it’s too late.

    I think we have to straighten out voting so our votes count, get Democrats in there, then change them to progressive Democrats. The deck is stacked so a 3rd party will never get big, so that’s what we have to do. And there is a 0% chance you are ever going to change the Republican party. They don’t believe in evolution, they have all the racists and religious fascists…..only for their votes.

  17. 28)
    Big Dan said on 9/1/2007 @ 5:37am PT: [Permalink]

    The Republican Party: The ONLY party that massively disenfranchizes voters…and gets away with it, too! Bush stole 2 elections, everyone knows it. They media won’t report it. We know it.

  18. 30)
    Big Dan said on 9/1/2007 @ 5:45am PT: [Permalink]

    The party of: Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowicz, Bob Ney, Tom Feeney, DeLay, Frist, Duke Cunningham, Vitter, Craig, Foley, Allen (both macaca and men’s public rest room), Stevens, Rove, Reagan, Nixon, Kissinger, Ollie North, Ashcroft, Ridge, Rice, Powell (how do they find the only 2 shill blacks???), Alberto Gonzalez, Michael Chertoff, heckuva job Brownie, Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly, FOX “news”, Malkin & Coulter, Savage, Freedom’s Watch, Vets for Freedom, the swiftboaters, William Kristol, Ari Fleischer, Jack Abramoff, Mehlman, Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, Ted Haggard, Pat Dobson, the Ku Klux Klan, ………….

    WHO WOULD VOTE FOR THESE ANTI-AMERICAN FASCISTS???

    Oh, I forgot, they STOLE the elections! We DIDN’T vote for them!

    How ’bout some help, Dems, in actually making our votes count???

  19. 31)
    Big Dan said on 9/1/2007 @ 5:47am PT: [Permalink]

    The key is stealing the PRESIDENCY…because THEN you get hundreds of NON-ELECTED appointee positions!!!

  20. 33)
    Dredd said on 9/1/2007 @ 6:35am PT: [Permalink]

    Big Dan #18

    The agent of ignorance, the MSM, is for the first time I know of beginning to grasp the realities of the 110th Congress. You know “that part of the world”.

    Wow! They have even contemplated arithmetic for heaven’s sake!

    The fact that there are only 48 Democratic Party voting members to the 49 Republican Party voting members has them all mystified.

    One can see a little tic manifest on their faces as they contemplate that math and the notion of “democratic control” of the Senate in the same breath.

    Civics not being their strong suit, they stumble like Miss NC answering the question “why can’t americans find the US on a world map”.

  21. 34)
    Dredd said on 9/1/2007 @ 6:45am PT: [Permalink]

    Big Dan #30

    Those who talk like small children and castigate the political opponents of the republicans are supporting the republicans. (“The enemy of my enemy is my friend“). They are faux progressives in that sense.

    On your list may I add BIG BROTHER? BIG BROTHER is a republican! I am the friend of the enemies of BIG BROTHER.

  22. 36)
    Ancient said on 9/1/2007 @ 10:47am PT: [Permalink]

    Hey Wayne, try reading Palast’s Armed Madhouse. Then, tell me what you think of Richardson! Hint, made the switch, butt, horrific SoS& RoV actions and I believe quite a few dems involved!

  23. 37)
    Ancient said on 9/1/2007 @ 10:58am PT: [Permalink]

    Also BD, Palast has quite a section on how they’re going about the 08 try at stealing. It’s really a long dirty laundry list of tricks, not just one specific thing that accomplishes their coups. Most of them are discussed on this blog!
    Thanks Brad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Happy Trails

  24. 40)
    Big Dan said on 9/2/2007 @ 12:29am PT: [Permalink]

    Ancient: Yes, they are going to steal the election again in 2008. What would make me think otherwise?

  25. 43)
    jen said on 9/3/2007 @ 4:28pm PT: [Permalink]

    Hope Brad is out enjoying Mother Nature, and all the cougars stay a safe distance away!

    Where I’m living now we have a big (black) bear problem. I grew up here and there were no bears then, but they’re here now and get worse each year.

    The Village has even issued a pamphlet to everyone on how to live with bears. It’s a sad situation because they only know how to get food from garbage cans and dumpsters. And they’ve quit hibernating because they can’t bulk up, and there’s a year-round supply of food.

    Last week a man shot a bear that was up a tree in his yard. Shot it. With a 22. The bear fell out of the tree, broke it’s neck and died. It turned out it had a cub, and when the Rangers came the baby was there, crying. How fucking sad. The paper said the man “may” be charged with a misdemeanor.

    They took the cub to a refuge in South Shore

    Anyways, I loved the bear stories here. I don’t much like mine.

  26. 44)
    Ancient said on 9/5/2007 @ 9:27am PT: [Permalink]

    BD, nothing is ever set in stone. I’m not an armageddonist, can ya tell. Anyway, my point was its a cumulative effect as to how the elections are stolen. So, the more aware this blog makes people of ALL the ways they go about it the better the odds of stopping it. Hope you had a great time not doing! Read Armed Madhouse.

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