Meet Mike Gibbons of 'Kwaidan Consulting': Seeking 'Well Endowed Blonde Nymphomaniacs'...Or 'Jesus Christ, Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein,' Depending on Whose Paying...
By Brad Friedman on 3/25/2008, 8:02pm PT  

Last week, in the wake of their AVC Advantage touch-screen voting systems having been found to have failed in at least six counties following New Jersey's Super Tuesday Primary, and on the heels of much-deserved ridicule for having threatened Princeton computer scientists with legal action should they go forward with an independent technical review of their voting systems, as requested by NJ election officials, Sequoia Voting systems issued a laughable press release headlined "Sequoia Voting Systems supports third party reviews and testing of its election equipment," which John Gideon appropriately eviscerated for all of the (putting it nicely) "misleading half-truths" therein from the dishonest, desperate folks at Sequoia.

The company, which claims their oft-hacked votings systems (accidental hack here, on purpose hack here) are secure and "tamperproof", subsequently saw their own website ignominiously hacked thereafter late last week.

But, as if the constant predilections of Sequoia VPs Michelle Shafer and Edwin Smith to slap "kick me" signs on their own backs wasn't enough, they then went on to release another statement last Thursday announcing they were commissioning their own "external review" of their own voting systems "that includes review by an independent company," which nobody has ever heard of.

So who is this "Kwaidan Consulting of Houston, Texas," whom the geniuses at Sequoia have selected to carry out their independent, third-party review? You're not gonna be believe this one...

Kwaidan appears to be little more than one guy by the name of Mike Gibbons, whose MySpace page, until last week (cached version here), boasted of wanting most to meet "A well endowed blonde nymphomaniac (half my age or take the difference of her bustline and waistline added to her current age) that likes to be under the influence of Jim Beam whiskey in a dimly lit room at least 3 times a week."

Since folks began last week trying to figure out exactly who this "Kwaidan Consulting" is, the "Who I'd Most Like to Meet" section of Gibbons' page was quickly changed as of last weekend. It now expresses Mike's desire to meet "Jesus Christ, Sir Issac Newton, Albert Einstein and James Clerk Maxwell," instead of the blonde nymphomaniac he had previously been hoping for.

And just to shore up the Sugar Land, Texas 50-year old's credentials as a serious person, appropriate to the important task of carrying out a legitimate technical review of Sequoia's failed voting systems (the same ones which are set to be used in the upcoming Pennsylvania Primary), the photo of sexy Mike leaning on his babe-magnet pickup truck --- on of his "eleven (11) Mopar Muscle Cars" --- was promptly replaced with a shot of himself posing with George H.W. Bush.

The "About Me" section of the page, which previously explained the reason his hair was so long to be "None of your f**king business @$$hole," was swapped smartly with a quote about "The right of citizens of the United States to vote," as taken from the 15th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Is this guy made for Sequoia Voting Systems and the Corporate Election Industry, or what? We smell Pew Foundation grant money, baby!

Here's a sample from Mike Gibbon's cached MySpace page...

And here's the new and improved version of patriot Mike's page since Sequoia announced that he'd been given the new gig...

It's good to know that one of the nation's largest voting machine companies --- which, like all the others, use proprietary "trade secret" software, and threaten multi-million dollar clients with legal action should they attempt to make sure their own systems work as promised --- does such impressive vetting of who it is they've decided to pay to carry out an "independent" review of one of their own voting systems.

We'd think this whole thing was an Onion prank, were it not for the fact that it's Sequoia we're dealing with here. And yes, their track record shows them to have been just this irresponsible and deceptive on many occassions.

We'd hate to see those actual, experienced computer scientists at Princeton have a legitimate opportunity to figure out what went wrong in NJ with Sequoia's machines. Especially with the very same Sequoia AVC Advantage touch-screen systems which failed there, fired up and ready for use in the all-important Pennsylvania Primary just weeks from today.

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