No, Seriously...
By Brad Friedman on 4/1/2008, 5:05am PT  

No, this is not satire, like the recent hilarious Onion video on Diebold, nor is it an April Fools gag. It's actually just Diebold. Who, as usual, is joke enough all by themselves...were it not for the hundreds of thousands of dead people due, in no small part, to their incompetence and/or treachery, of course.

Here's the beginning of their latest press release...

Diebold Launches Caring Initiatives for Benevolent Causes

NORTH CANTON, Ohio, March 27 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ --- Diebold is launching a campaign of "caring" to benefit breast cancer research and environmental preservation.

Yes, they had to launch a new initiative to actual "care" about things. And yes, the word "caring" is actually in quotations in the original announcement.

In regard to the environmental part of their new campaign to "care," a company spokesperson is quoted in the release as saying, "We are evaluating all of our products to ensure whenever possible we are offering a recycled alternative."

On that point, ironically enough, in Florida of late, things have gone somewhat backwards for Diebold on the recycling front. Rather than using "recycled alternatives" in their products, it is their products themselves which are quickly becoming the recycled. Literally.

As the Tampa Tribune recently reported, thousands of the company's touch-screen voting machines, recently outlawed in the Sunshine State, are being hauled away by a recycling company to be "shoved into a two-story-tall machine that will mash them into bits that will be separated and recycled."

Can't make this stuff up. And let us repeat: Nothing in the above story is an April Fools joke!

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